We all do things to each other that emotionally wound us on a regular
basis through verbal abuse, poor actions, physical rejection, taking each other
for granted, betraying emotional trust, reproaching the other person’s poor
state or bringing up the most vulnerable topics in their life or from their past in a cruel manner.
Sometimes we immediately feel sorry for our actions or words, and sometimes
it takes a while. Whatever happens or how long it may take, it’s important we acknowledge
our wrongs and make amends with the person we’ve wronged. The following tips
would help you tender a sincere apology when you make a mistake.
1. Stop to think
about how the person may have felt because of what you did or said and realize
you need to apologize.
2. If you knew the other
person's feelings were hurt, and you were really mad too. It’s okay to show that
you’re sorry even if you’re not ready to apologize. Say something like, “I’d
talk after I calm down.”
3. Even if what happened
was an accident or you did something you didn't mean to make amends with the
person.
4. Call the person up, and
admit you were wrong.
5. Explain your action.
Look the person in the eye and say specifically how you wronged them.
6. Apologise in a caring
way:
Don’t say,
“There’s no big deal in
what I said, but I’m sorry?”
“I don’t see why you’re
hurt by that simple thing I did. Such a thing won’t even move me if I were in
your shoes. But, I’m sorry.
“I know, I didn’t do
anything to hurt you, but I’m sorry.”
"I'm the only one who can hurt your feelings like this and that's because I love you."
Say,
"I'm sorry about the
mean way I treated you."
“I was mad, but I
shouldn't have insulted you. I'm sorry.”
"I'm sorry I hurt
your feelings."
"I'm really sorry I
said those mean things to you when I was mad. That was wrong of me. I won't do
it anymore."
"I'm sorry I didn’t
tidy up your space."
"I'm sorry I yelled
at you."
"I'm sorry I shut the
door in your face."
"I'm sorry I dropped
the call on you."
"I'm sorry I ignored
you.”
"I'm really sorry I
made you look bad in front of the boss. That was wrong. I won't do it
anymore."
If you're the person who is offended, it's okay to say, you're "sorry too" when people apologise to you.
7. Make plans not to
repeat the same mistakes or fix the problem.
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