Friday, 20 March 2015

The Etiquette & Rules of a Good Friendship

“Having a friend and being an upright friend who is remarkable is what makes the memories of friendship significant.” – Darmie Ogph


I lost my first female perfect best friend from moving around the world with my family. The sudden departure broke my heart and brought me to my knees. Now more than sixteen years after we had lost contact, I am openly speaking of my painful experience with others and sharing how I had missed a very good friend.

Recently at a youth seminar organized around friendship I was asked what was one of the great lessons I learned from losing my friend Funke, and I knew what my answer was without reluctance: it is the importance of having a fulfilled expanded life.

Friendship etiquette is something that helps you smooth the wheels of daily growth within your friendships. Friendship etiquette is essential for good friendships outcomes to getting along with people you didn't grow up together in the same household and having a happy living. Friendship etiquette guarantees understanding and peace where there is even shared dislike or disinterest. Additionally, friendship etiquette guarantees that you don’t become enemy of progress why because your friend is succeeding on the height you had fell from. Not that you’re purposely targeting to be an enemy of progress, but there are some actions that can make you come out as an enemy.

Additionally, friendship etiquette is the key to knowing how you will respond to trouble friendships. And deal with your own demons, the manners in which you will conduct good, unforgettable friendships.

Practicing Manners that Contributes to Good Friendships


1 Being a Perfect Best Friend Makes your Friendship Special -  It isn't probably difficult to name the qualities you want in a friendship, but are you a good friend? Answering the following questions would help answer your question.

  • Are you happy when something good happens to your friends?
  • Do you listen to your friends’ success stories without changing the subject to something else?
  • When your friends behave in a thoughtless way sometimes, do you give them the benefit of the doubt, knowing that everyone have imperfection every now and then?
  • Do you sometimes cancel your precious appointments so that you can be with your friends?
  • Do you check on your friends every now and then?
  • Do you feel sad when something bad happens to your friends?
  •   Do you introduce others to your friends?

If you've been nurturing your friendship with these good manners, then the answer to your question is yes!


2 Your Uniqueness or Jealousy – Sometimes it may seem as if your friends are better than you. Maybe their lives are more fruitful and colorful than yours. They have nice jobs, nice house, good husband or wife, and wear fancy clothes. Maybe they’re more beautiful, handsome or spontaneous. Anyway, you wake up one day feeling like a total loser—and filled with jealous for them. It’s difficult when other people seem to have all the luck and success, especially when they’re your friends. I want you to know that it’s natural to feel jealous. But you’re looking past one thing: Your friends have chosen you for their friend. Do you think they would make friends with a total loser? No way! This means there must be something wonderful in you that they see and you don’t. People are successful in all sorts of different ways. Maybe you’re a terrific “people or person”—considerate, well-mannered, responsible, trustworthy, helpful, empathetic, caring, loyal, supportive, and fun to be with. These are real gifts you can’t just measure as material goods. You may tell yourself that those things don’t count. But they do. In fact, you’ll go places in life, and find lots of fulfillment, if you possess these gifts mention here. Being a perfect good friend means showing pleasure in your friends’ success and happiness even when you’re hurting inside. And your hurt will easily dispel if you make conscious effort to focus on the uniqueness you have, rather than the achievements you have not.

3 Taking Responsibility – In every friendship you need to take responsibility. Think about your friendships and take the lead sometimes. Don’t always expect your friends to call first, suggest an outing to spend time with them, send them text messages or call them. If this doesn't come naturally for you, try and make conscious effort. A one-sided friendship lasts about as long as a sealed plant that doesn't get watered. Friendships need attention in order to grow.




4 Suddenly Cold – Good friends are one of the best things that can happen to us. They listen to us, do things with us.They show us the flaws about ourselves and bring out the best in us. They introduce us to new experiences, make us laugh, and are there when there is no one proffering their shoulders to cry on in times of trial. But they also let us down sometimes. What happens when your friends for no reason start acting cold towards you? When you talk to them about your progress they say little, they hardly return your calls anymore, crack jokes with you or want to spend time with you. What can you do in this situation? Let them be or let them go? No, don’t write them off. Their sudden unfriendly state may be because of something they are going through that they don’t feel they should bother anyone with.  So the first thing you should do is to be considerate. Show that you care about them. Let them know that their problems are also yours. If their unfriendliness is far from this, then, take a closer look at yourself. Has your behavior been upsetting or negative lately? Have you said or done anything that might have hurt them or caused offense? No. Then, don’t bother to find out why they've suddenly changed. Simply make extra efforts to be friendly with them and you will be laughing together again.  Keep in mind that the way to get people to change their unfriendly behavior towards you is to show that you love them without weariness. This works with friends, bosses, teachers and anybody. Additionally, keep in mind that lack of empathy kills, friendship so you must always be considerate.

5 It isn't Friendship – It isn't friendship if another friend takes over your life. If you are always responding to the demands or bossiness of your friend, there are polite ways to set boundaries. And talking about these boundaries is a lot polite than keeping this kind of friends at arm’s length. Practice talking. For example;

Activity

Bossy Friend: “Get me a glass of water right now?”
Bad Response: “With my hands full? Gosh, you are too bossy. You are not the only friend I have, but you act like my world revolve around you and I should kiss your ass. We should stop spending time together, I've had enough.”

Bossy Friend: “Get me a glass of water right now.”
Good Response: “I don’t mind getting up from here to get you the water, but my hands are full. I hope you can understand.”

6 Include Others – Keep in mind that your best friends will always include others in their lives, and this doesn't mean that they stop being your best friend. Rather they are confident enough to give the friendship you share freedom. Be careful not to show jealousy when they make plans with their new friends. Behavior like jealousy can kill a treasured friendship you've taken time to develop overtime.
 
There are lots of rules about the etiquette of friendship. From an etiquette standpoint however, I hope the few rules I've shared can help you experience wonderful true friendships.

Peep into the world of etiquette friendship. Let’s discuss your friendship concerns. I would help you breakthrough your them.

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