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Monday, 27 March 2017

Inspiring “please” and “thank you” in children

While our children might do what we instruct them to do, they are more likely to do what they see us do in daily life. Some credible parents are disappointed when they see their own lapses in good manners show up in their children and quickly do something to correct it.

Whether we like it or not, learning typically takes place in the home, through imitation. It is a good idea to exhibit good manners around the children.

As the parents goes, so the children! Think about your own sense of thankfulness. Does “please” and “thank you” accompany your requests to your spouse and the domestic workers in your home?

Your children will more likely learn thankfulness when they see and hear you expressing it in your marriage and in the family.

Several years back two of my younger ones, a boy and a girl got into a big argument. The eldest who is a girl cried that the younger brother always refuse to run errand for her. Hearing this I quickly berated the boy, but once I heard the boy's side of the argument I became weak! He had said even though, I’m several years older them, “please” and “thank you” always accompany my requests to them. On the other hand, the sister in question sends them on errand as though they are slaves!

Up until that day I was not aware of my modest and thankful character. Ah! Someone is watching and imitating what you do.

Teach your children to express their thankfulness to those they send errand, from whom they receive gifts or kindness. Even the youngest should express thanks. As soon as a child is able to extend a little hand and ask for biscuit or money, you should encourage him or/ her to say “please” and “thank you.”

Practicing thankfulness in daily life helps children begin to develop consideration for others and prevents them from developing greed.

Method for reinforcing the use of thankfulness:
Let “please” and “thank you,” acknowledge every errand you send your children and everyone around them. Prompt the children to say “please” and “thank you” to their helper, driver, teacher, etc. “Thank you,” should accompany their purchases in stores. After meal, they should say “thank you.” When you drop them off at school, they should say “thank you.” Praise them after they put this good manner into action.

Thankfulness will help your children well as they grow into adulthood.
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Monday, 20 March 2017


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Tuesday, 14 March 2017

No cell phone calls during the church service

Just because you have a cell phone doesn’t mean it must be answered every time it rings or someone send you a message! While it is wonderful for your friends and family to be able to contact you at any given time, it can be repelling for those around you when you answer your phone while the service is going on, or worse in the middle of the sermon. We want to honor the Almighty God and the people around us as well as those who are calling in. If you know you are the type who receives calls a lot you should put your phone on vibration once you walk into the church auditorium. And all you would need to do once the service is over is provide a few words of explanation and your friends or family would understand. You can say something like “I’m sorry I missed your call. I had to put my phone on vibrate because of the church service.”

But if the person calling in is persistent, it means what the caller have to say is incredibly important. You can then quietly excuse yourself from the church auditorium to take the call.

Other good manners you should observe during the church service: it would be shocking for the service to be going on as well as din of distracting voices. If something funny was said and you happen to catch some of your acquaintances eyes, simply smile, but never actually start talking and on top of your voice. If the friends are sitting next to you, you can speak to them, but in a low tone of voice and very briefly. Ordinarily schmoozing should be left until after the church service because it is not respectful for the solemnity of church services.
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Thursday, 9 March 2017

Can’t bear another time of too much togetherness with my fiancé’s family

Damilola Ogunremi, aka Darmie O-Lujon, is on her blog weekly to chat with readers about their romantic, family, financial, and workplace problems. An edited transcript for this week's chat is below.
Damilola Ogunremi: Good afternoon. Let's get to it.
Q. Getting All Confused!: My man loves his family dearly. Since we got engaged we spend our free time with dose of them, having every visit resulting in a fight. Nothing I do please his people.  I can’t bear another time of too much togetherness with the family. Their behavior towards me is making me think again if I really want to be married into such an upsetting family. Although the last thing I want to do is to ruin my engagement. What shall I do?

A: Spending time with your husband-to-be’s family helps make your relationship bond very strong. It’s a good foundation for your unborn children. But clearly, I see you all need time to get to know yourselves. That’s what your fiancé is trying to do by taking you with him each time he visits his family. However, you can’t rush or force this process. It has to happen naturally and over the time. To avoid problems any time you visit, do the following.

·         Let him go ahead. Go later. Tell your boyfriend to go ahead of you when it's time to visit, and then join him later. He will set a peaceful atmosphere this way before your arrival. There will be less tension.

·         Establish an exit time. Shortly after you arrive and settle down, explain early in a friendly manner that, you will be visiting your parents or do something else, this way you won’t appear rude when it’s time for you to leave.

·         Share a chore. Don't be aloof. Help in the kitchen or do other chores around the house without going overboard with the help.

·         Avoid the irate.  Don’t spend too much time with the most annoying family member. If you can’t stand his sisters, spend less time with them. If you happen to be in their midst and, can’t be excused, get a distraction. Get a book, read, and talk to them.  If his mother drives you cracker, don’t exchange words with her. Don’t react to everything she does that upsets you. This is not the time in your relationship to be a short-tempered. However, do make a point when need be without appearing rude.

·         Develop a happy exit. Think about all the nice ways you can get your husband-to-be to let you leave from his family house before your usual leaving time. Your man loves his family, but it is uncertain he wants his engagement to break over the ongoing misunderstanding. Agree on how to make this area of your relationship work with the family.

This is all on your end woman. Make the relationship with your in-laws-to-be workout.

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