𝗟𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆, 𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝘆.
But in reality, consistent
conflicts in relationships 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿𝘀,
even when our aim is solely to address the issues causing the distress.
This underscores the
importance of prioritizing a constructive approach, 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝗵𝗮𝘀𝗶𝘇𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗱𝘂𝗮𝗹.
Some individuals may
struggle to adapt even after being prompted to 𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲,
leading to repeated patterns of behaviour that perpetuate conflict in their
relationship. And this behaviour usually can trigger emotional responses, intensifying
conflicts and perpetuating a cycle of discord that 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗽𝘂𝘀𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲𝘀.
Hence, my assertion on 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗮 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹 𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻.
Many individuals may be unaware of their detrimental actions in a relationship,
aiming only to address perceived flaws but inadvertently escalating conflicts
because they are attacking the person instead of their wrongdoings.
The prevailing pattern in
many distressed relationships is one of attacking the partner, but the 𝗸𝗲𝘆 𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗴𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆.
In instances where tensions escalate to 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿, 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗰𝗿𝘂𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗹𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱.
𝗔𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽
can be as simple as saying, "𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 '𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗽𝗶𝗱' 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲. 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗶𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗲𝘀 𝗺𝘆 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁. 𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲, 𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗜 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲."
From now on, I hope that
this post will help you in handling recurring problematic behaviours constructively
within your relationships.
Look forward to my
upcoming book, ‘𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗘𝘁𝗶𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗦𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗹𝗲𝘀,’
and stay tuned for more insights.
𝗪𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀!
Warm regards,
Damilola Ogunremi
𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙋𝙧𝙤𝙛𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙁𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙤𝙖𝙘𝙝
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