Dating Etiquette by Damilola Ogunremi
If you're about going into a relationship, or you're in one already, the following tips will help you along your way.
Know What You’re Looking For
Meeting a guy or gal of your dreams is a fabulous thing! However, if you don’t know what you’re looking for first, you’re going to make the dating process much more complex than it needs to be. Decide what sort of dating relationship you are looking for before you get started with your hunt, and you will set yourself up for dating success.
Establish a Mutual Friendship
Do you want a serious relationship? Are you looking to play the field and have a little fun? Is sex with no strings all you want? Or maybe you’re looking to find that special someone and you’ve got till death do you part on your mind? Whatever, it is that you’re looking for; when you meet someone the first thing is to establish a relationship. It’s awkward to defining relationship before establishing one. For example; a man is seen as a weirdo. If he meets a lady for the first time, calls her beautiful names and then, because she responds positively or validates the compliments he feels is now in a romantic relationship with the lady. This is also vice versa. So, in order words, always establish a mutual friendship before defining what you want out of a meeting.
Discussing how much you’re worth comes with an increased risk that you’ll come across a shady character that is not exactly what he or she makes themselves out to be. Not every guy or gal you meet will be honest. In fact, some great guys and gals are just so rare to find. So, it’s necessary you don’t discuss your bank details, etc, with someone you just met.
Is it Safe to Visit?
If a guy or gal you just met suggests meeting at their place or yours and they insist this is really shady. I suggest you should not go. Before you decide it’s safe to visit a guy or a gal, meet a couple of time in public locations as this could give you an ample of time to see a number of red flags before entering a long time dating relationship.
Don’t Hit Off
If you eventually meet in a “closet” in his house, or yours, try as much as possible to resist the urge of having sex. By doing this, you create a bedrock for a relationship. A relationship based on sex, may just be all about it!
Let it Breathe
Once the relationship kicks off, you need to prevent what I call the helicopter effect. This is when one of the parties is constantly stalking the other person. This could be by incessant calls and messages, unsolicited visits, and throwing jealous shades. Allow your relationship to breathe.
Having sex in a relationship bothers on opinion because some people feel they need to have sex in their relationship. I personally don’t advice pre-marital sex, which is morally not acceptable. Ladies note that having incessant illicit intercourse may end up spoiling the fun for the guy. As a typical male folk, relishes suspense. My dad would say, “Don’t have your honeymoon before your honeymoon.”
To Love or Not?
One of my mentors once said that it’s safer to love in a marriage relationship than when dating. This is about giving and allowing yourself to receive from the other. In the quest to show love, don’t keep giving yourself without receiving from the other person. So, make love a decision, and not solely an emotional feelings built around fantasies. Love your partner for who they are and not encapsulate them in your own desires.
Should You Commit?
Yes, you must commit in order for a relationship to work.
You Deserve Safety
If unfortunately, you become involved with an abusive guy or a gal, it’s outrightly not advisable to keep this sort of relationship going, because it’s bound to be worse if you end up marrying this person. While change is possible, it's hard to do and it takes a long time. You don’t owe it to anybody to stay in an abusive relationship. So, care for yourself.
Dating & the Altar
Despite your dreams, feelings, impulses, and conviction, note that not every relationship leads to marriage. Always try to look at the big picture. People come into our lives for different reasons which may be beyond a romantic relationship, even though; we met on such terms. Don’t count your eggs before they hatched. See relationship as an opportunity to make yourself better. Good luck with your dating relationships.
Damilola Ogunremi – DRS etiquette and Image Consulting