Using Politeness to Your Advantage

Easy Quiz. Which of these do you agree with?

- Silence reforms your abuser and makes you a humble and a polite person.
- Politely correcting the unkind and inconsiderate deeds of your abuser puts him in his place, thus improving your respect and creating a world in which people treat one another with care, respect, and compassion.

Recently, I used the below scenario in my etiquette class and one of the participating mums attending the class with her teens, said Toyosi’s silence was cool.

Scenario Identifying Demeaning Reference:

Cynthia and Toyosi work on their practical in the school laboratory, and Toyosi by mistake ruins Cynthia’s practical. Cynthia abused Toyosi saying the following: “Dingbat, airhead, stupid, and ugly, fat. You can never do anything right. You are always so dumb! Is this how you want to become a doctor? You should just go and join your wretched pepper seller mother and forget the dream!” and Toyosi said nothing to defend himself.

If others put you down for making a mistake, they are with terrible manners. And you have to correct their bad manners with good manners. I suggested Toyosi could have said something like “I’m sorry, I ruined your practical. I’ll implement the correction you want, but I’m offended by your comment” rather than keeping quiet. Being polite or courteous doesn’t mean you should let people walk all over you.

Most of the misery we experience in life sometimes comes from the terrible things someone said to us at one time or another. As time goes on, the voice or perspective of the abuser gets implanted into our minds in such a way that they start to judge every mistake we make. Furthermore this only happens when we fail to stand up for ourselves at the right time. That’s why sometimes those who are unkind and inconsiderate to you need to be put in their place politely to spare yourself the after effect of abuse.

#Politeness isn’t associated with #weakness or #humility. Politeness is a symbol of strength. It’s an amazingly powerful instrument that can improve your respect, protect your rights, stop rude people in their ways, and even make anyone regardless their high rank apologize to you. Politeness can turn almost any situation to your advantage. #Politeness is not #Weakness. Use #politeness to put others at ease and to stand up for yourself in nearly any situation.

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What do you think about using politeness to our advantage? Do you agree we need to speak up for ourselves? Share your thought in the comments below. 

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