Damilola Ogunremi, aka Darmie O-Lujon, is on her blog weekly to chat
with readers about their romantic, family, financial, and workplace problems.
An edited transcript for this week's chat is below.
Damilola Ogunremi: Good
evening. Let's get to it.
Q. Cheated and Feeling So Broken!: Her insults and violent actions toward me and my services had been going
on for weeks before I reacted. I applied to this woman’s
establishment a year ago to offer my services. A few months later I got a call,
and I went for an interview with a sample contract. I spoke with this woman. She
has such a colorful business in a nice environment with top clients. But she
complained her business wasn’t booming. She spoke of how her staffs bad mouth
her to clients and, they took their business somewhere else. She listed so many
challenges the business was suffering and, how she desperately want to shut it down.
She presumed the ground her business is established, has occult influence which
is preventing the business from booming. She cried and, I felt really sorry for
her situation. How do I help this type of client? I asked myself. Imparting good
values is much more important than the money I make on my job. So I reduced the
charges on my services. She was happy! She read the contract and then, said I
shouldn’t worry about getting it typed, that her secretary would do the typing
for me.
Exceptions I have never made before on my job were made
for this woman. I allowed her to skip many materials she should have bought to
aid my contract and, was doing photocopying from others ‘materials. Ever since,
I related to her as an older sister. Gave her subsequent free advice on how the
business could move forward then, went as far as speaking to some of my friends
who are professionals in her area of specialization and, could help improve her
business. These people I contacted for her hesitated. She cried some more and, I
called a pastor of mine to pray for her.
The first rock hit when I shared the good news of
gaining this woman’s business with colleagues on my job. They spoke of how she
cries to get good labor for cheap and, never pay. Once I went to work the
following week, I shared the bad news I heard about her from than five colleagues.
She cried, said they lied against her. I let things be and then, went about my
work. Shortly after then, some of the staff started saying, I would soon leave
like the others. I didn’t pay mind to them.
Time passed for this woman to pay for the advance and
the balance of the services I was providing her business. However, I didn’t
want her to give me money in hand like I was some house help. Regardless, I
wanted things to be done professionally. So, I approached her from the contract
signing angle, also reminded her that her payment was due. Each time, I
approached her she told me there was no money available and not to worry, that the
secretary would type the contract. Shortly after then, I started noticing she bought
unnecessary things for her establishment. A person just needed to mention her
competition use this particular material and, she would run to buy it even when
she doesn’t know what it is used for. She sent people to establishments like hers
for visibility studies. When they return with impressive report on the establishments,
she claimed her competitions are ahead of her in the business, only because
they are using black magic.
With all of this needless expenditures going on, I was
forced to request for my money and, let go of the contract. Just then, she
claimed I have not being doing my job! I was patient with her. I asked how she
came to such conclusion, and then, she said everyone in her establishment told
her so. When it was time to go provide my services for another week, I didn’t
show up. She called over and over, I didn’t answer. I replied with the text
message that said I was done working with her. She replied saying when she made
it tomorrow, where would I hide my face? She sent me such a response over a
professional matter? It was then I began to realize I was in for a nightmare
contract. She sent many more horrendous messages until I called her. She
promised to pay my money after the phone call and, I went back to work with
her.
Once she made part payment, she stopped summoning me to
her office for her usual complains and, my advice stopped. I thought nothing of
this change or the silence. I just let her be. And that was when the insults
and the violent actions toward me started. She unleashed staffs on me to inspect
my services and rubbish it. But I was doing my job with extra effort, so I stomached
their shenanigans, provided them anything they asked so she couldn’t nail me at
all in this area.
My contract was coming to an end. I sent her a strict
professional reminder to balance her payment for the contract. She threw
tantrums and called me names. Afterward, she called me to her office, analyzed
my services so far, and rubbished it. I had tears I won’t let spill behind my
eyes. I regretted bringing myself so low for this woman to stamp on. The principles
of my job require that I am extremely respectful on the job. In spite my
silence and selecting my few responses carefully, this woman went on attacking
my services, my so called help as she called it and, personality. Since she won’t
stop with the attacks, I put her in her place at once being professional
nonetheless.
I became so broken that I wanted to leave everything, the
money and just walked away, but my husband made sure I finished with my
contract then collected my money. How do I deal with this kind of client in future?
I have been a bitter person since my experience with her. I resolved never to help
any client again. My husband said this isn’t a right decision.
You made a huge mistake, so my advice is you make a professional
entry in future, and leave it at that no matter what happens. When you
encounter clients who are going through challenges, and feel you should cut
down your charges, do it with an agreement in place. Don’t wait for any secretary
to type your contract, do it yourself. Ensure the contract is signed before you
execute the service you promise. Be firm. If you have advice which can help a client’s
situation perk up, proffer it maintaining a strategic alliance, strictly
professional relationship. From what I gathered
from your story, it appeared to me that many times in her office, you had joked
and laughed your head off forgetting you are on a job. It is true that people
want to do business with those that are friendly, but you must do this with carefulness.
If you have extra help for a client,
like when you called your pastor on her behalf, wait until you are invited to
render this sort of help. Although I don’t encourage offering help like this,
however, when you do render them, maintain distance and be professional.
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